Infographic designer extraordinaire David McCandless visualizes when Facebook users reset their "relationship status."
The winter holidays will be here soon. And according to David McCandless, author of The Visual Miscellaneum, that means you'd better brace yourself for Facebook's annual breakup season.
McCandless's infographic takes data from Facebook and plots out when users tend to dump their significant others most. It happens two times a year: a couple weeks before the winter holidays, and right around spring break.
It's no surprise that spring is a time when young lovers shed their romantic baggage to party unfettered in Cancun. But the pre-Christmas dumpathon is more interesting: the breakups seem to spike at least two weeks before the holidays because, as McCandless bluntly puts it, kicking your sig-o to the curb under the mistletoe is "too cruel."
Speaking of cruelty, the third most popular breakup day on Facebook is, apparently, April Fool's Day. Breaking up may be hard to do at the best of times, but that's just cold.
Which type of intimate relationship is best for you? Check the Varieties of Intimate Relatiohships Graph below for some possible answers:
The following infographic explains how break-ups happen:
Here are five methods used by men to breakup, but shouldn't:
- Breaking up by text message - You are a first class loser if you've even considered doing this one. If you're 10 years old and the extent of your relationship has been holding hands on the playground at recess -- ok, you can get away with this. But if your relationship involved the swapping of bodily fluids at some point, you don't get to do this one without losing your reputation as a grown up. I would never date a man who did this to anyone, ever.
- Breaking up through a friend - Not only does this make you a loser, it makes your friend one, as well. If you're a tween who changes boyfriends/girlfriends every week, this is probably your preferred method. If you're over the age of 18 and you're not grown up enough to end something yourself, you aren't grown up, period.
- Breaking up by email - Not as bad as breaking up by text message, but still bad. I had someone do this to me once, and I lost all respect for him. Not only does this say you're not man enough (or woman enough, if that's the case), it says you probably never were.
- Breaking up by phone - This one isn't as bad as the others, as you've at least got the balls to say something in a person to person fashion -- but it's still pretty lame. At least make sure you actually talk to the person you're breaking up with, and don't just leave them a voice message.
- Breaking up via fake drama - It's probably not a good idea to tell your boyfriend or girlfriend that you have to break up with them because your mother has died and you just can't cope. Also not a good idea to make it sound like you're doing the boyfriend/girlfriend a favor, sparing them your company, as it's sure to be depressing being around someone who is crying every day. And it would be a really bad idea to then take your perfectly healthy mum out to dinner, where people can see the two of you together and then Tweet all about your lying heart. If you must lie, lie about something that isn't going to make you look like an arse.
Here are some great break-up lines men used to dump their lover:
- "I need some time to find myself." - Ok, first of all....if you are told this, please don't wait around for him to decide whether or not he will still want to be in a relationship with you after he "finds himself". Take this as a cue to go out and do whatever you darn well please. Give him space. No calling, no contact, no "surprise" running intos. Nada. It may mean he doesn't want to date you again... ever. Or it may mean he doesn't want to date anyone right now, but maybe you later. Or it can also mean he wants to date someone else right now, and maybe you later if that doesn't work out. It really depends of what your relationship was like before he went to "find himself".
- The Classic "It's Not You - It's Me" - This really translates to: "It's not me, it's you." Ugh! How many of us have heard that line once or five times in our lives? Don't believe this line for a second. It has got to be one of the most over used, lame and obvious attempts at trying to soften the blow. Maybe their heart is in the right place at the time, but we find no solace in these words. We understand what it really means - that he is just not in to you. I'm thinking this had to be the very first entry in the Men's Break-up Doctrine.
- "I'm just not ready for a relationship right now." - Defined as: "Yikes"! "This is going way too fast". This break up line usually comes right after we utter the word "future", whether intentional or not. It doesn't matter why we said it...all he hears is that one word and he's off and running. Other times, this line is used when he thinks he has found greener grass, and the translation can then be: "I'm ready for a relationship... just not with you right now". That, unfortunately, was what my boy friend was telling me when he used this line. It was ok for the first couple of years, and then suddenly he's not ready?????? What??? Huh????
- The Sudden Drop-Out - All of the sudden, he's busy all the time. Busy. Busy. Busy. He can't call you for a myriad of reasons (like he used to). He's doing things with friends and family, his dog, his neighbor's cat, his old teacher's son's brother.... and has no time for you (like he used to). You keep asking if everything is "ok with us". He says, yes. But you KNOW things are not the same. Then, you ask again, and again, and again... until finally he snaps and turns the whole thing around to be YOUR fault for bugging him so much about it. You are imagining things. You are a control freak. You don't trust him. And on it goes until he ultimately gets mad enough of all your pushing and says it's over. I think that whole scenario has a chapter all it's own in the Men's Break-Up Doctrine. They all do it SO WELL! It's so manipulative! And just plain wrong.
- Text Message Break Ups - Men no longer bring flowers to their dates, and courting and gift giving appear to have become things of the past. What has replaced all the romance? It's the cell phone. Now days, men text. They text to ask you on a date. They text you the next day to say they had a great time, and they text you with silly sexy messages that are often in bad taste. But if that is not enough, they even text you to say they are breaking up. Remember the Sex and the City episode where Sarah Jessica Parker was really upset because her boyfriend broke up with her on a sticky note? Well, at least he was taking a chance that she might walk into the room, see what he was doing and confront him. Texting is way different. Men can send a message and never have to suffer the consequences if they do not wish to. This truly is one of the most spineless ways of breaking up there could ever be. Nuf said.
- "I Still Want To Be Friends." - This can be taken as: "If we run into each other somewhere, please don't make a scene." Ahh, another of the classics. He dumps you and wants to just be friends. This satisfies so many of his needs in one lump sum. He can run into you at the bar and not worry about a scene, after all... you're buds! He can still call you if he needs to borrow that battery charger of yours he always uses, so he is picking and choosing what parts of the relationship he wants to keep. He, obviously, has been thinking about this break up for a long time... you, on the other hand, just got slammed with the bad news and all of the sudden you are expected to go from lovers to friends in seconds. No way, no how. End of discussion.
- "Can I call you sometime"? - Sadly enough, this can translate to: "If I'm ever lonely and there's no other chick in sight at 3 a.m. on a Saturday night...." He may or may not be that crass, but nevertheless, he is trying to keep his foot in the door. Giving him the benefit of a doubt, he may actually be afraid he will miss you and feel the need to talk at some point in the future, and would like to keep the lines of communication open. But, be wary! If he's the one who's dumping you, then he may be unfairly trying to lead you to believe that a break will strengthen the possibilities of some kind of rekindled romance in the future. This may be possible if he is unsure that he's making the right decision about breaking up, but just be careful. Sometimes it's best just to make a clean break regardless if there is a chance of reconciliation in the future. If there is, it will happen.
- "I still care about you, but.." - Self-explanatory.
- "That is why I am using all these lame excuses to break up with you, to spare your feelings" - Honestly, he probably does care about you, but just not enough to maintain a relationship with you. He wants you to do well, and he really does feel bad about hurting you. But what he's also saying is, please don't tell all your friends to hate me, and I don't want you to either, should nothing better come along or a new relationship not work out. The relationship may be broken, but it's a pretty big concern that his reputation remains intact. He doesn't want anyone to think he is a total jerk for what he did. (This is where he needs to be reminded that actions do speak louder).
COMMENTARY: This Relationship Break-Up Chart is just too much. Imagine having a partner with their birthday and anniversary in December. When you add Christmas and New Year's, that's just too much expense. Break-Up!! Please let me know if this chart fits what you have experienced. I thought the other stuff might help you with your break-up. We've all been there.
Courtesy of an article dated November 8, 2010 appearing in Fast Company Design
Breaking up with your partner is painful especially on special occasion like Valentines day.
Posted by: Denise Mcmahon | 02/18/2013 at 01:25 AM